Still Untitled: Home Again
by Tragician
Summary: The sequel to I Can't Think of a Stupid Title for this Thing. Now complete! Read! Share with friends! It's fun for the whole family! (Okay, you might want to shield the young un's eyes for the last chapters)
1. Prologue

Claude sat on a small stool in a darkened room

Claude sat on a small stool in a darkened room. A solitary spotlight shone where he sat. 

"Where to begin, where to begin," he said silently. "It's been what, 2 years since our adventures in _I Can't Think of a Stupid Title for this Thing_? Time flies, as they say. Things have been pretty hectic since you've seen us last.

"Rena and I haven't changed all that much. The twins were born about a year and a half ago, though. Two boys. Their names are Ronixis, after my late father, and Kenneth. Everyone gets a strange look in their face when they say Kenny's full name. I don't quite understand why.

"Bowman's back to his regular life in the pharmacy. Yep, his 'pimping' business is done. Kind of a long story, actually. I'd rather not get into it at this moment in time.

"Noel and Ashton have broken up. In addition, Precis and Ashton seem to have taken an interest in each other. To the best of my knowledge, Noel is still single.

"Speaking of Precis, she's still as wild as ever. Last I heard, she was still pursuing her 'hobby.' Someone's really got to have a talk to that girl one day.

"Dias is still undergoing therapy. He's made some tremendous leaps and bounds over the past few months. He still doesn't like to talk much. Maybe he's just the silent type by nature.

"Celine's out of prison now. That's a good thing, but there have been reports of missing items in the Mars area. I'm hoping it's just pure coincidence...

"Chisato's working for a Lacour newspaper now. Her tabloid went out of business after a lawsuit of some sort. It's for the best. The legitimate press has more job security, pays better, etc. Still, I guess writing about how aliens have been abducting the Royal Family and replacing them with exact body doubles has its perks.

"Leon's escaped the Goth scene. He's briefly toyed with various other groups, including punk, hip-hop, etc. He's got some major identity issues, that kid does.

"Opera had her child soon after we got back to Expel. It was a girl, who she named Aria. Quite an adorable little one if I do say so myself. Opera and Ernest still haven't expressed any interest in marriage, by the way.

"Ernest has finally recovered from his alcoholism. He's been sober for nearly two years now. We're all proud of him for his accomplishments. We all can imagine how hard it'd be resisting the urge to drink with Opera in the house.

"Finally, our old 'friends', the Wise Men. They managed to escape Eternity Space and have settled on Expel. Everyone was worried when they heard that they were back, but they've insisted that they're peaceful now. So far, save for a few 'disagreements' now and then, they've kept up with their promise. They've even gotten jobs as professors at the University in Linga."

Claude stopped talking for a moment to think. During this time, Rena opened the door to the room and turned on the light.

"Claude?" Rena asked. "What are you doing in here? And why were the lights off?"

"Umm...I was just meditating..." Claude said. "The dark just helps me to clear my mind...yeah..."

"All right, go on with it," Rena said. "Just get to bed soon. We have an early start tomorrow." She turned the light off and closed the door.

Claude wiped off the beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead. "Close one...where were we? Oh yeah. I guess that pretty much accounts for all of us. Enjoy the story."


	2. The Plot Begins

Indalecio sat at the kitchen table inside the Ten Wise Men's house in southern Lacour

Indalecio sat at the kitchen table inside the Ten Wise Men's house in southern Lacour. On the table were multiple stacks of papers several inches high and a small accounting calculator. Indalecio pored over the papers, with a look of frustration on his face.

Cyril walked into the room and glanced in Indalecio's direction. "Hey, maggot, what're you doing?"

"Trying to do our taxes..." Indalecio replied. "These figures don't make any sense. According to this tax scale, we owe more than we make in a year..."

"What the hell? You've got to be doing something wrong."

"I don't know, maybe it's my figuring," Indalecio said, holding up a sheet of paper which contained numerous notations and scribblings. Cyril grabbed it and looked it over.

"If I could read this, I might be able to tell you what you're doing wrong," Cyril said, handing the paper back to Indalecio.

"No wonder," Indalecio said, taking the paper and studying it again. "You were holding it upside..." His eyes suddenly grew three sizes as he failed to finish his sentence.

"What's the matter?" Cyril said.

"Cyril, for being such a fool, you're a genius!" Indalecio screamed happily. He ran out of the kitchen laughing and clicking his heels.

"He's lost it," Cyril said, shrugging off the proceedings and grabbing an apple out of the fridge.

* * *

Filia, Decus, and Vesper stood outside the door to Indalecio's room. From within, a furious typing sound could be heard. "Daddy, would you like some breakfast?" she said, holding a large tray of food. No answer came, just the continued sound of typing.

"How long's he been in there?" Vesper asked.

"Almost three weeks," Decus said. "He hasn't eaten, hasn't slept, and only taken a little time for bathroom breaks..."

"What do you suppose he's doing?" Filia asked, with a bit of nervousness in her voice.

"Haven't a clue," Decus said. Suddenly, the door burst open, slamming violently into Vesper's face. Vesper fell to the floor holding his nose, while the door managed to stay standing, albeit with a large faced-shaped dent. Indalecio proudly walked through the door, his face radiating with happiness.

"Daddy, what have you been doing in there?" Filia asked him.

"I'll tell you soon enough," Indalecio said. "First, call Noel and Chisato, and tell them to come over here."

"Why?" Decus asked.

"Because," Indalecio said. He was silent a moment, almost as if he was savoring the next words he was going to say. "We're going home!"

"Ow....by node..." Vesper said through his blood-stained hands, which were covering his face.


	3. The Plot Begins to Thicken

The front door to the Wise Men's house knocked

The front door to the Wise Men's house knocked. When no answer came, it knocked again. Still no response. It knocked one more time. No answer came, and so it was leveled with a well-placed jujitsu kick. "Piece of cake," Chisato said as she stepped over the door's remains. Noel shielded his eyes in embarrassment.

Filia entered the hall to see what the commotion was about. "Oh, hey!" she called out. "Come on in! We didn't hear you knocking."

"Listen, sorry about the door," Noel said.

"Don't worry about it," Filia said. "Happens all the time. Anyways, come on in to the living room. Everyone else is there."

The three stepped into the Wise Men's living room, where the rest of the Wise Men were sitting. All except for Indalecio. They made conversation for a few minutes until Indalecio walked into the room, pushing a small cart with an obsolete computer.

"Guys, can I get your attention, please?" Indalecio called out, trying to sound important. "Now, I suppose you're wondering why I called you here today..."

"Get on with it!" Marsilio shouted out.

"Hmph," Indalecio sneered. "Very well. Where shall I begin? About 3 weeks ago I was figuring our taxes, but things weren't working out. I had Cyril," he said, pointing at the prematurely grey sorcerer, "look at some notes I had jotted down. He couldn't decipher them because he was holding them upside down. However, I then took the paper back, looked at it upside down, and had a revelation. Thanks to my superior intellect," Indalecio grinned as he said this, "I realized what I was holding in my hand was the first characters of a computer program that would enable us to ressurect Energy Nede to how it was shortly before it was destroyed! I spent the last few weeks writing this code and typing it into ol' Jimbo here." He patted the computer. "Now all I have to do is run the program, and Energy Nede will be back!"

A hand shot up in the middle of the room. "Yes, Berle?" Indalecio said, recognizing his armor-clad compatriot.

"Are you going to do like Narl did with Expel, and bring it back from the past using a Time-Space shift? Wouldn't that create a massive paradox in the Space-Time Continuum?" Berle said.

"No," Indalecio said. "This program works sort of like a Copy-Paste action does in computers. What it'll do is make a 'copy' of Energy Nede just before we arrived, and then 'paste' it into our time. Of course, there will be some slight changes. For example, I have made it so that they'll forget who we are and what we did. Another change is that Noel and Chisato, on this Energy Nede, will 'mysteriously' dissappear shortly before we arrive."

Another hand shot up, this one belonging to Noel. "You're not going to crash Expel into it to get there again, are you?"

"Of course not!" Indalecio said. "The last part of the program will transport all of us in this room to Energy Nede, without any adverse side effects to Expel."

One more hand raised, this one belonging to Ruprecht. "You mean that you're going to take Energy Nede from the past, copy it, transport the copy into this time period, and transport all of us there, using a program written on a 286 with 640KB of RAM?"

"286 WITH 640 KB OF RAM DOES NOT COMPUTE!" Shigeo yelled out in his robotic voice.

"It's very resource-efficient," Indalecio explained. "Any further questions? If not, then I'll initiate the program now." Indalecio typed the following on the computer:

C cd \indaleciostuff\private

C nederessurect

After doing so, the computer began making loud and somewhat frightening noises as it strained to run the program. Then, through the window, came a flash of light as bright as sunlight, despite it being 9 o'clock at night.

"Step one is completed," Indalecio said. "Now onto step two..." The room filled with an intense, sparkling brightness, as the people in the room were transported to Nede.

"You did remember to turn the oven off, didn't you, Decus?" Filia said as her body disappeared.

"Yeah, I think I...wait, did I?" Decus replied. It was too late to check, however.


	4. The Plot Comes to a Slow, Rolling Boil

A small ship cruised through the infinite blackness of space

A small ship cruised through the infinite blackness of space. A bright flash surrounded it, and soon it was nested very comfortably in the top floor of Central City's City Hall. The hatch opened, and the pilot of the ship walked out: a blonde-haired young man, in his early-to-mid twenties.

"What the hell?" Claude said loudly. "What's this?" Soon after him came Rena, who was wondering many of the same things as Claude. In her arms were their twin boys, sleeping happily.

"This looks like the lobby to Narl's office in Nede..." Rena said. "But...wasn't Nede destroyed?"

"Yeah," Claude said. "This is all too curious..."

"Please stay on the other side of the desk," Narl's secretary called out. Claude looked at where he and Rena were standing, and found that they were, indeed, in the part of the office that would be behind her desk, if it wasn't completely demolished.

"But our ship just crashed into your office building, and this is just how we happened to come out..." Claude tried to explain.

"Please stay on the other side of the desk," the secretary said again.

"What desk? It's in tiny pieces all over the office!" Rena shouted.

"Please stay on the other side of the desk."

"But listen," Claude said.

"Please stay on the other side of the desk."

"Will you just..."

"Please stay on the other side of the desk."

"All right," Claude said, feeling defeated. "We're going..."

"Thank you," the secretary said. She then resumed the work she was engaged in until disturbed by Claude and Rena.

"Maybe we should see if Narl is in..." Rena said.

"Good idea," Claude said, as they walked into Narl's inner office. When they got there, however, the office was empty.

"Mayor Narl?" Rena said. "Are you here?" No answer came.

"Maybe he's out for lunch or something," Claude said. Suddenly, a loud flushing sound came from the back. A small door materialized, which Narl walked through. The door disappeared mere seconds after Narl closed it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in," Narl said, sitting down at his desk. "Wait a minute..." he said, studying the two. "Who are you?"

"Narl, don't you recognize us?" Rena said. "It's us, Rena and Claude!"

"I'm sorry, I've never seen you two in my life," Narl said, ripping a piece of toilet paper off his shoe.

"You don't remember us? You helped us in our endeavors to kill the Wise Men!" Claude shouted.

"Wise men? Who are they?"

"You mean you don't know about Indalecio, or Cyril, or that whole happy gang?" Rena said.

"Nothing of the sort comes to mind..." Narl said.

Claude sighed. "Very well, we're sorry to have bothered you, Mayor," he said somberly, hanging his head.

"Well," Narl said, "if you need any help, I'll be happy to assist you."

"Thank you," Rena said, as they walked out of the office.

The two walked out of the building and immersed themselves in the splendor of Central City. "Do you think he was lying to us?" Rena said.

"No, he seemed genuinely ignorant," Claude says. "Something has to be up..."

Just then, a passing stranger bumped into Claude. He was a man in about his thirties, with a very stern expression on his face. A very distinct scar went down the length of his right cheek. He was dressed in a long, black trenchcoat. When he collided with Claude, he dropped a small stack of papers he was holding.

"Excuse me," he said, in a very gruff voice. "Sorry about that."

"No problem," Claude said, bending down to help the man pick up the papers. As he grabbed one, he saw the title "Crest of..." The rest was smeared and illegible, as it had fallen into a small mud puddle.

"Thanks a lot," the man said, taking the paper from Claude's hand.

"You're welcome," Claude said, with a tone of quiet contemplation. He stood there, staring into space as the man ducked into a nearby alley.

"Claude, what's wrong?" Rena said, jolting him out of his trance.

"I just got the strangest feeling," Claude said. "Like, this aura of negative energy surrounded that guy..."  


"Well, never mind about that," Rena said. "Let's go to North City to get some information."


	5. The Plot Is Seasoned to Perfection and S...

The thirteen Nedians materialized on Nede, in a region in southern Giveaway

The thirteen Nedians materialized on Nede, in a region in southern Giveaway. Actually, they materialized several feet above a region in southern Giveaway. As they plummeted to Nede's surface, Cyril commented, "Swift one."

They landed, mostly unharmed, in a large snowbank. Indalecio was the first one to get up and brush himself off. "Well, everyone," he said. "We're here!"

"Y-y-y-y-yeah," Decus said, shivering. "B-b-b-but can we g-g-get indoors? I-i-i-it's friggin c-c-c-cold out here!"

With a helpful height boost from Shigeo, Noel surveyed the landscape. "Giveaway's right over there," he said, pointing northward. "We can use the teleporter there to get to Central City."

"We're off!" Indalecio stated, as he marched proudly northward.

"Does he seem a bit too cheerful for you?" Nicolus whispered to Jibril.

* * *

Claude and Rena walked into the North City library. "How can I help you?" the computer operator asked.

"We just need to look up some information," Claude said.

"I see. If you need any help, just ask," the operator said.

The two browsed through the North City topic listing. "Hey, Rena, notice anything different?"

"The listing seems shorter than normal," Rena said.

"Exactly. The listings for the Wise Men and the Secret Information are missing..."

"Wait, what's this?" Rena said, pointing to an entry near the bottom of the screen. "Recent disappearances? Maybe we should check it out..."

Claude opened the topic listing, revealing two subtopics: "Noel Chandler" and "Chisato Madison". He opened the subtopic on Noel, causing the following information to appear on the screen.

__

Name: Noel Chandler

Age: 24

Height: 5' 8" / 1.73 m

Weight: 163 lb. / 74 kg

Hair color Brown

Eye color Unknown (he has never been seen with his eyes open)

Occupation: Zoologist, currently the head of the Nede Animal Reserve

Last seen: At his house in Giveaway, on May 23. If you have any information on his whereabouts, call...

"Curious...all too curious..." Claude said, surveying the information. Just then, Chisato walked into the library.

"Claude? Rena?" she exclaimed in surprise. "How'd you guys get here?"

"Chisato?" Rena said, mirroring her emotion. "Do you know what happened?"

"Long story," she said. "Let's go back to my house and talk."

* * *

"So what's the deal with Nede all of a sudden?" Claude asked, as they entered the house above the North City tool shop.

"The Wise Men resurrected it," Chisato said.

"Wait..." Rena said, trying to comprehend the situation. "You mean that they found a way to bring it back from the past?" She set the twins down on the bed, who were still sleeping happily.

"Not exactly," Chisato said. "What they did was made a copy, of sorts, of Nede, and transported it to this time period. They changed a few things so that we'd all be able to live here peacefully. They erased all records of themselves, and made it so that we'd disappear shortly before our arrival here, as to avoid the chance that we meet ourselves."

"That explains the library information, then," Rena said.

"Wait, wait, wait," Claude said. "You mean to tell me that the Wise Men actually COPIED Nede from the past, changed it to their liking, and then transported the copy here?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up. They also transported us here, without that whole messy 'crash a planet into another planet' scenario. But the question remains, is how did you wind up here?"

"Well, we were traveling through space where Nede used to be. Suddenly, there was a bright flash, and before we knew it we were headed straight into Central City's City Hall."

"Weird..." Chisato said. "Well, I guess you're here until we can figure out how to get you out of here. Make yourself at home."


	6. The Plot is Served with Fava Beans and a...

Meanwhile, far away, on an island far west of Armlock, the Wise Men had placed the house that was formerly encased in the Eternity Space

Meanwhile, far away, on an island far west of Armlock, the Wise Men had placed the house that was formerly encased in the Eternity Space.

"Giver of life...embodiment of perfection..." Indalecio said, staring at a small, glowing box inside the house. "Gift from the gods themselves...bless me with your divinity!"

The box dinged, and Indalecio pulled from within it a small bag of microwaveable popcorn.

"Hot, buttered goodness..." he said, pouring the popcorn into a bowl and plopping down in the sofa in front of the television. He turned the television on to find one of his favorite movies was playing. He was about to savor the first few kernels when a horrific sound came from the garage, not unlike the sound produced when one places a cat in a blender.

"What the devil is going on in here?" Indalecio shouted as he stormed into the garage.

"Nothing," Cyril said, holding a sleek black electric guitar. "We're just practicing."

"Practicing what?" Indalecio said. "Seeing how obnoxious a sound you can make?"

"No," said Decus, holding a guitar much like Cyril's, only red in color (and for practical reasons, made completely out of asbestos). "That was _Sad but True_ by Metallica."

"We kept asking you if you wanted to be in our band, but you refused," Vesper said, sitting behind a large and unnervingly complex looking drum set. "So we asked Ruprecht here instead, and he accepted." He pointed to Ruprecht, who was busy tuning his bass guitar.

"Fine," Indalecio said. "So what's the name of your 'band'?"

"Lantis," Cyril said matter-of-factly. "We play all kinds of rock, but we concentrate on metal."

"Fine, fine, whatever..." Indalecio said. "Have fun with your little 'band'. Just turn it down a little bit." He walked out of the garage right as the four-piece group started a driving rendition of Rage Against the Machine's _Guerrilla Radio_, except completely devoid of rhythm, tone, or overall talent.

* * *

Claude, Rena, and Chisato climbed the stairs that led to the top floor of City Hall in Central City. As they got there, they found that their spaceship had not yet been moved, and their only path to Narl's office would, to their horror, invade the Secretary's protective bubble. Nevertheless, they braved the onslaught of "Please stay on the other side of the desk"-s until they came to the outside of Narl's office, where they ran into Noel.

Actually, Chisato ran into Noel, knocking her to the ground. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Noel exclaimed, helping her back to her feet. She gave him a little smile, which made him blush a tiny bit.

"So, Noel, why're you here?" Claude asked.

"I heard there was a reward for information on the whereabouts of Chisato and myself. I tried to cash in, but it didn't work," Noel said. "Why are you here?"

"We need to talk to Narl," Rena said. "We learned about the Wise Men's plan."

"What plan?" Noel said, laughing nervously.

"Don't play stupid, Noel," Chisato said. "I told them."

"What?" Noel exclaimed. "Why'd you do that?"

"Simply put," Chisato said. "They're innocent victims in this whole shebang, and they deserve to know. If you want it complexly put, then talk to me later."

"But I..." Noel stammered.

"No buts," Chisato said sternly. "It's too late for buts. If you had any objections, you should have brought them to my attention earlier..."

"All right," Noel said, dejected. "I give up..."

"You wouldn't happen to know where the Wise Men are, would you?" Rena asked.

"Actually, I do!" Noel said. "In fact, I can take you there."

"Maybe our meeting with Narl can wait..." Claude said. "Wait...does going there involve passing through the secretary's office?"

"Yes, of course," Noel said.

"Hold on," Claude said, taking out four pairs of earplugs. He handed one pair each to the three, and inserted the fourth into his own ears. "Ready," he said.


	7. I'll Stop With the Plot-Food Jokes, Hone...

Indalecio sat back down in the sofa in front of the television

Indalecio sat back down in the sofa in front of the television. His bowl of popcorn had cooled significantly during the time he spoke with Cyril and the rest, but was still edible. He was also happy to see that he had only missed the boring introduction of the movie. "Cooled, buttered goodness..." he said, picking up the bowl of popcorn again. He was just about to start in on it when a loud knocking came from the front door.

"Crap, not again..." he sighed as he rose to answer the door. "Oh, hey guys," he said, opening the front door. "Wait, what are those two doing here?" he said, pointing towards Claude and Rena.

"Long story," Chisato said. "May we come in?"

As the small group walked into the living room, a sound much like taking a chainsaw to a piece of rebar emanated from the garage. Noel, Chisato, and Rena all covered their ears. Indalecio didn't, as he had gotten somewhat used to the noise by now. Claude didn't either, and it seemed a small smile crept across his face. Not to mention he was holding Ronixis and Kenny.

"My god, what is that!" Rena screamed. "It sounds like someone put a wrecking ball through your garage!"

"Actually, no," Claude said. "It sounds kind of like a song by Pantera. Maybe it's by Sepultra...nope. It's Pantera."

"That," Indalecio said, "is Cyril's garage band. They just started today."

"They've got a long way to go," Noel said.

"Actually, I don't think they sound that bad," Claude said.

"Gotta look at the positives," Indalecio said. "I finally have incentive to soundproof the garage like I've been meaning to. Now, why was it that you came to see us?"

"We know, Indalecio," Rena said.

"About what?" Indalecio said.

"About your plan," Claude said. "We know all about it."

"H-h-how?" Indalecio stuttered. "Who told you?"

"She did," Noel said meekly, pointing towards Chisato while at the same time ducking behind Claude.

"So much about that oath of secrecy we all took," Indalecio said.

"What oath of secrecy?" Chisato said. "I don't remember any oath of secrecy."

"Well, uh..." Indalecio thought aloud. "It was a secret oath of secrecy. Yeah! So secret you didn't even know about it." Chisato frowned at him.

"It's no use lying about it anymore, is it?" Indalecio said, defeatedly. The other four shook their heads in unison. "All right, I admit it..." he said at last. "I brought back Nede. I'll tell you all why..."

"Before you do so," Claude said, "mind if I put these two into your bedroom?" He held up the sleeping twins for Indalecio to see.

"Nah, go ahead," Indalecio said. He waited until Claude returned, and then began his speech.

"Ever since the destruction of Nede, I felt an emptiness in my heart..."

__

Author's note: Indalecio's little spiel goes on for many more pages, and for the sake of brevity (and sanity), I will summarize it for you. He felt lonely after the destruction of Nede, and feels (correctly so) that he helped bring it about. To help atone for his sins, and to put his mind at peace, he brought back Nede after learning how through the income-tax hijinx. However, he does make one long, clumsy, and rather unintentionally funny analogy concerning the feelings he had, as seen here:

"Imagine, if you will, that you're blowing up a building with a bomb. However, before you can push the trigger, someone knocks you unconscious. Your body falls on the trigger, detonating the bomb. Instead of the entire building blowing up, it just blows up that room, and you survive, and look at the room you just blew up...

"Wait, let me try that again. You're blowing up a _city_, not a building. And before you can push the trigger, someone knocks you unconscious, and you fall on the trigger. Those people severed the lines to all the other buildings, however, so only the one you're in blows up. You survive...ah screw it."

__

See what I mean? Indalecio was never much of an orator. And now, the end of his speech.

"And that's why I did it," Indalecio said, closing his speech. "Do you understand now?"

"Zzzzzzzzzzz...*snk*!" Claude said, disturbed from his slumber. "Oh, it's over?" he said, yawning. He then checked his watch. "Only took twelve hours, impressive."

"Ha ha, very funny," Indalecio said.

"No, really. I was with you until about the third hour, then I kinda crashed," Claude said, waking the other three.

"Huh? What happened?" Rena said, yawning.

"Indalecio finally stopped talking, that's what happened," Claude said.

"Good news, guys!" Cyril exclaimed, running in from the garage.

"What, did you guys have creative differences and end the group?" Indalecio said.

"No, I said good news," Cyril said.

"And I put forth a possible 'good news' situation."

"Ha ha ha," Cyril said sarcastically. "Actually, we got our first gig!"

"Really?" Noel said. "Where is it, and when? I want to know where to avoid, and when."

"At the Giveaway tavern, a week from Saturday," Cyril said.

"We'll be there!" Claude said, giving a hearty thumbs-up.

"Great!" Cyril said. "Well, I've got to go practice with the guys." He then ran back into the garage, and a wailing, grinding noise came from the garage, meant to be _Big Truck_ by Coal Chamber.


	8. Evil Rears It's Head, and This Time It H...

*one week from that Saturday*

*one week from that Saturday*

The crowd in the Giveaway tavern didn't pack the place, but was reasonably large. The Wise Men who weren't a part of Lantis sat around a large table in the back. Claude, Rena, Noel, and Chisato (the last three who had come begrudgingly at both Cyril's and Claude's request) sat at a smaller table beside them. Everyone else in the crowd was seated and/or standing near the front of the stage, enjoying the music. _Damn masochists, _Indalecio thought to himself.

Claude turned to talk to Rena, but instead was distracted by a sight just behind her. Sitting at the table next to them was a thirty-something year old man with dark hair. Though the light in the bar was dim, the man's scar on his cheek could be distinctly seen. He was grinning slightly as he finished off his drink, a bubbling, frothing, steaming liquid which was eating away at the glass which it was contained in.

"Will that be all, sir?" asked a cute, young waitress to the man.

"Yes," the man said, handing the waitress a rather large tip. "Thank you." He stood up and went to the counter to pay.

"Excuse me, miss," Claude said. "Do you know who that man is?"

"Oh, him?" she said. "Yes, that's Mr. Facet. Orin G. Facet. He's a regular customer here."

"I see," Claude said. "Excuse me," Claude said. "I need to get some air..."

Claude walked outside and ducked into a nearby alley. Orin soon came out into the street and lit a cigarette. "Heh heh heh..." he chuckled to himself. "Soon the Crest of Annihilation will be finished..." he said. He walked down the alley on the other side of the bar and disappeared into the night.

"Crest of Annihilation," reverberated through Claude's mind, as an ominous chord played in the distance. This disturbed him a bit, until he realized it was the closing riff to one of Lantis' original songs.

"Thank you, thank you!" Cyril's voice was amplified through the sound system as Claude entered the bar again. "That was a song we wrote, called 'Buying a One Way Ticket to Hell (With Your Lives)'." Claude sat down just as Cyril spoke again after taking a sip of water. "And now, I'd like to dedicate a song to one of my closest friends," he said, with a small grin on his face.

"Do you think he means you, Daddy?" Filia said from across the table.

"We'll see," Indalecio said.

He had barely finished speaking when they began playing. A loud, fast, and extremely bass-heavy song filled the tavern. After a short introduction, Cyril began singing.

__

You were just a waste of sperm

The way you look makes my stomach turn

"Yup, he means me," Indalecio said, somewhat agitated. Cyril continued singing.

__

The way you think is no way at all

God, you really think that you've got balls

I hate you...you know it's true!

I hate you...and everything you do!

You walk around like a f*cking d*ck

Every time you're near you know I get real sick

You're so stupid, there's nothing in your head

God, how I really wish that you were dead!

I hate you...you know it's true!

I hate you...and everything you do!

"You like that, Aloysius?" Cyril screamed as Decus started a blazing guitar solo. Literally. His hands, his guitar, and anything flammable in the near vicinity caught flame.

"Aloysius? Who's that?" Jibril asked.

"That's...me..." Indalecio said, the redness in his face turning from that of anger to that of embarrassment. "That was my first name when I was Dr. Lantis..."

"I thought your first name was Gabriel," Berle said.

"It was my...middle name. I always went by that one, though..."

"ALOYSIUS? HA HA HA HA..." Shigeo said.

Cyril began singing the third verse, which was exactly like the first. Finally, Indalecio could stand it no longer. He chucked an empty beer bottle at Cyril's head, which connected solidly. He had just finished the song when he collapsed to the ground in an unconscious heap.

"Uh, show's over, folks..." Decus said through the microphone, after noticing their lead singer/rhythm guitarists' inability to continue playing. "Hope you all had a great time."


	9. Further Investigation

"I'd say that was a pretty good show," Claude said, as they walked out of the tavern

"I'd say that was a pretty good show," Claude said, as they walked out of the tavern.

"WHAT?" Rena shouted, feeling the ill effects of the concert.

"I said...nevermind." Claude looked over towards Noel and Chisato to ask them about the concert, but they were engaged in a discussion of their own. Maybe it was because of the drinks he had had, but it looked as if Noel was blushing.

"By the way," Claude said again. "I have something extremely important to tell all of you..."

"WHAT?" Rena shouted again.

"Nevermind. I'll tell you later," Claude sighed.

"WHAT?"

* * *

"I found out something rather disturbing tonight at the concert..." Claude said, when they were back at their hotel room.

"What?" Rena said. "Why didn't you tell us when we were all together?"

"I tried," Claude said. "Noel and Chisato were busy talking, and you were just plain deaf at the moment."

"What?"

"Well..." Claude said. "You remember that one man we bumped into just after we arrived here?"

"That one with the scar on his face?" Rena asked. "What about him?"

"He wants to invoke the Crest of Annihilation..."

"Wha...how'd you find this out?" Rena asked nervously.

"He was at the concert. When I ducked out for air, he walked outside and muttered something about the Crest being finished soon." Claude said. "I did find out his name, however. Orin Facet. I was thinking that we could ask Narl for more information."

* * *

The next morning, Claude and Rena made their way back to Narl's office, braving the elements, massive flights of stairs, and annoying secretaries with one-track minds.

"Excuse me, Mayor," Rena said. "Do you happen to have any information on an 'Orin Facet'?"

"Hmm...Orin Facet..." Narl said. "Let me check..." He rifled through a large filing cabinet in the back, and soon pulled out a small manila folder. "Here you go."

"Thank you," Claude said, as he took the folder from Narl. He took out the sheets of paper and studied them. "Yes...this should be everything. Mind if we keep this with us?"

"Sure," Narl said. "I have several copies of everything.

"Thanks," Claude said, as he and Rena walked out.

"So..." Rena said.

"Well, it says here that he lives just north of Armlock," Claude said. "Maybe we should check there..."

* * *

Claude and Rena traveled north from Armlock until they came across a small, but well furnished house, about two miles from the city.

"Think this is the place?" Rena asked.

"Hold on," Claude said. He walked up to the house and peeked inside one of the windows. A shadowy figure walked into the room and turned on the light. Claude quickly ducked down, but not before seeing who the figure was.

"It's him..." Claude mouthed to Rena.

"What? Speak up," she said back.

"It's him. This is the right place!" he whispered.

"I can hardly hear what you're saying!"

"I said this is the place!" Claude said loudly. He then covered his mouth, realizing his mistake.

Orin's ears perked at a noise outside his window. He looked outside to see what it was, but finding nothing, resumed his business.

"Come over here," Claude mouthed, while gesturing. "And for Tria's sake, be quiet!" Rena complied, and soon they were both sitting underneath the windowsill, straining for any clues.

"Heh heh heh..." Orin chuckled. "Only a couple weeks more until the Crest is completed...then comes Phase 2..." An ominous chord emanated through his house.

"Hey, rockers, how ya doin' tonight?" a loud and fairly obnoxious voice said. "This is Tank Sherman, and that was 'Buying a One Way Ticket to Hell With Your Lives' by a hot new indy group, Lantis. Been getting a lot of requests lately for that one. I went to their show last Saturday, and they rocked the house down! I see great things for this band in the future. We'll be back with the best of Nede's rock music after this short break." The radio then cut to a commercial extolling a local auto-body repair shop.

"You were right," Rena said. "We gotta tell the others..."


	10. Wager-ific!

Indalecio laid on the couch, trying to catch a quick nap

Indalecio laid on the couch, trying to catch a quick nap. His peace was quickly broken, however, by a loud noise coming from outside the house. He stormed outside to find Cyril in the driveway, under the hood of a "junker" car. The car's audio system was blasting _Incarnation of the Devil_ from

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"What the..." Indalecio shouted over the music. "Where did you get this?"

"The sound system?" Cyril asked, closing the hood of the car. "I bought it with my share of the money we got from our gig."

"No, I mean the car," Indalecio said.

"Came with the system," Cyril said.

"You mean you actually got enough money from that concert to buy a car AND a sound system?" Indalecio said in disbelief.

"No, like I said, I bought the sound system. The car was free with it," Cyril said.

"Well, that's not the point," Indalecio said. "You can actually get money from running around on stage like a bunch of kids who forgot to take their Ritalin?"

"Yeah," Cyril said. "Pays pretty damn well if you can make it."

"_If_ you can make it? Hell, anybody could do it!"

"Would you like to see how easy it is?"

"Sure, I'm not doing anything."

Cyril grinned. "Alright. There's a battle of the bands in three weeks in Central City. If you don't know what that is, it's basically a talent contest of sorts. Bands come on, play a few songs, and the best is determined at the end. The prize is 100,000 Fol and a recording contract with Wrecking Ball Records. You have until the contest to get a group together, write some songs, and get them ready."

"I could do that," Indalecio said. "But how about we make a little...side wager?"

"Like what?"

"If your band wins, you keep with it, and I won't complain anymore. But if my band wins..." Indalecio smiled a devilish smile, "you're done. No more. Kaput."

Cyril thought this over for a minute. "You're on."

* * *

Claude knocked on the door to Noel's house in Giveaway.

"Yeah?" a tired-sounding voice came from within.

"It's us, Claude and Rena," Claude said.

"*yawn* Come one in..." The door opened to reveal a rather worse-for-wear Noel. He was unshaven, his hair was unkempt, his eyes were bloodshot, and he was still dressed in a bathrobe and pajamas. 

"You guys want some coffee or somethin'?" he asked, offering a pot full of black, caffeinated liquid.

"No, that's quite alright," Rena said.

"Good, more for me," he said. He began drinking it straight from the coffee pot, draining half of it in one draught.

"Long night last night?" Claude asked.

"Guess you could say that..." Noel said. "Anyways, what brings you?"

"First, we'd better get Chisato here..." Rena said.

"You wanted me?" Chisato said, coming down the stairs.

"Wait...how did..." Rena started. Claude quickly cut her off.

"Let's not ask," he whispered.

"Getting back to the point, what did you need?" Noel asked.

"We need your help," Rena started.

"With what?" Noel said, before taking another sip of coffee.

"A guy is creating the Crest of Annihilation," Claude said. Noel spit his drink out over Claude and Rena.

"What the...how do you know?" Noel shouted.

"Long story," Claude said. "We don't need to get into it right now. We just need to stop the guy, and fast."

"Just a sec..." Noel said, running upstairs. Within ten seconds, he was fully dressed and ready for battle. "Everyone else ready? Let's go!"

* * *

Indalecio sat in his bedroom, with a guitar and a book entitled "Heavy Metal for Beginners." Before long, a loud knocking came from the door. "Come in," he said loudly. Berle and Marsilio walked into the room. "Whaddya need?"

"We heard about that bet you and Cyril made," Berle said. "We and the rest of the guys were planning to start a band, and were wondering if you wanted to join us."

"We needed a singer, and you need a band," Marsilio said. "Funny the way things work out."

"I'll say..." Indalecio said. "I think I'll take you up on that offer..."

"Great!" Berle shouted. "Can you make it to our first practice tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I think so," Indalecio said.

"Good, then everything's settled," Marsilio said. "Oh, one more thing. Claude and Rena need us to babysit their kids today. They just dropped them off now."

"How wonderful..." Indalecio said, rolling his eyes. "Glad I didn't have anything scheduled today..."


	11. Fight!

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming..." Orin shouted, responding to a knock on his door. He opened it, and found himself staring face-to-sharp-pokey-end of a sword, held by Claude. Rena, Noel, and Chisato surrounded him. "You're not here to sell encyclopedias, are you?" he said dryly.

"We know about you, Orin," Claude said slowly. "We know what you're doing."

"I swear, it's medicinal!" Orin shouted, with a slight grin on his face.

"Wha...no!" Claude shouted. "We know about you and the Crest!"

"And let me guess...you're here to stop me from completing and invoking the Crest, aren't you?"

"Well...yes..." Claude said.

"And I'm supposed to defend myself against your attacks, to prevent you from stopping me in my plans, no?"

"Yes..."

"Well, should we start fighting now, or do you want to come in for a drink first?"

Chisato's impatience finally got the best of her. "Eat electric death, scum!" she shouted, brandishing her stun gun and thrusting it into his neck.

"Hey now, that tickles..." Orin said. Chisato was stunned, until she looked at her weapon and found she was holding not a 10,000 volt stun gun, but a joy buzzer.

"What the..." Chisato said, retreating. Noel then went on the offensive. He rushed Orin, his hand claws ready to strike. Before he could attack, though, Orin snapped his fingers and then proceeded to take a semi-brutal beating from Noel, now equipped with children's inflatable boxing gloves.

"How in the hell..." Noel said, looking at his new "weapons".

"Try this!" Claude said, swinging his sword with all his might. That, however, didn't work either. Orin plucked the sword, now a shish-kabob, from his hand and began nibbling on it.

"Needs salt," he said. Suddenly, a loud cry came from behind him, and he found Chisato flying towards him with a kick plucked straight out of a martial arts movie. He grinned, caught her foot in his hand, and gently tossed her aside. Chisato rolled along the ground, dazed but unhurt.

"Well well well, look at the time..." Orin said, checking his watch. "It's been fun, but I really have to go now. Ta-ta..." He walked into the shadow of his house, where he disappeared without a trace.

"That was surreal..." Claude said. He checked his weapon, and found it indeed was a sword again. The others' weapons had regained their normal status also.

"Did anything strike you odd about that guy?" Rena said.

"What, you mean the fact that he changed our weapons into toys and food at will?" Claude said.

"Well, that too, but what about his demeanor? His odd sense of humor? The fact that he almost seemed to control the situation at all times. He seemed like someone we met before..."

The four thought for a moment. Suddenly, a flash of realization went into Noel's eyes. "I've got it! He's just like..."

Before he could end the sentence, a gust of wind slapped a small sheet of paper into his face. The paper had the words "No I'm not" hastily scratched on it.

"We can't be bothered with it now, though," Claude said. "We need to find where he's hiding the Crest and destroy it." The group walked into Orin's house. "Now, where would I hide the key element to my plans of mass destruction..."

"Found it," Rena said, walking into the kitchen.

"Very funny. Now help us look," Claude said, checking under the living room couch.

"No, really, it's on the kitchen table."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because there's a half completed crest on it with the label 'Crest of Annihilation -- Do not touch!'"

"Well, now that we've found it," Noel said, "how do we destroy it?"

* * *

The four looked upon the smoldering remains of Orin's house. "You didn't have to burn the whole thing down," Chisato said.

"Hey, it was an accident!" Claude said.

"How so?" Rena said.

"You really think I meant to throw my cigarette butt into that box full of oily rags?" Claude said.

"Claude, you don't even smoke!" Rena shouted. "You just took a half-finished cigarette from his ashtray, took a puff, coughed a lot, and then knowingly tossed it into that pile of rags!"

"Ummm...can I say something?" Noel said. "This probably isn't the best place to be taking about who burned down what."

"He's right," Claude said, seizing the opportunity. "Let's get out of here..."


	12. The Ten Wise Babysitters

"So these are the songs you guys wrote

"So these are the songs you guys wrote?" Indalecio said, grabbing a small stack of papers with one hand while holding Ronixis in the other.

"Yup," Marsilio said. "Thought you might want to look at them."

Indalecio looked over the various pieces of paper. At the top of each was the song title, followed by lyrics and guitar tabs.

"Hmmm..." Indalecio said, pondering the song titles. "_BURN YOU SCUM...FRY, MAGGOTS...DOES NOT COMPUTE_... Shigeo wrote these, didn't he?"

"How'd you guess?" Berle asked.

"I just had a notion," Indalecio said. Suddenly, his eyes got incredibly large as he lifted Ronixis off his lap, revealing a large wet spot where the child was sitting. "WET BABY!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"HAHAHAHAHA..." Shigeo, who was holding Kenneth, said. "RONIXIS MADE WET ON...YOUR...LAAAAAAA..." He then fell limp, as the lights in his eyes went dim. Nicolus caught Kenneth before he fell to the floor.

"This one needs changing too..." he said, examining the diaper. "Any volunteers?" Before he could react, he was the only one in the room, now holding both twins in his hands. "Dammit..."

* * *

Filia walked down the hall, carrying two heated bottles of formula. Soon she met up with a rather moist Nicolus, who was making his way to the bathroom.

"The kids are changed..." Nicolus grumbled. "They're sleeping in the living room now..."

"Why are you dripping wet?" Filia asked Nicolus.

"I'd rather not say..." Nicolus growled, ducking into the bathroom. Filia thought a moment, then burst out laughing.

"$(*% YOU TOO!" an angry Nicolus shouted from beyond the door.

"AHAHAHAHA! Oh dear lord...too funny..." Filia cried out.

"What's so funny?" Vesper said, as he met Filia in the hallway.

"Nothing...nevermind..." Filia said, struggling to recover her composure. "I need some help feeding the twins, wanna join me?"

"I guess so..." Vesper says.

* * *

"These little guys sure downed those bottles fast..." Vesper said, burping Ronixis.

"Yeah. They must have been hungry," Filia said, who was burping the other. "By the way, you did put a spitrag on your shoulder before you started burping him, right?"

"A what?" Vesper said.

"Urp"

* * *

"Jeez, man!" Ruprecht said, meeting Vesper in the line to use the bathroom for the night. "You smell like sour milk!" Vesper decided not to speak, but to stew angrily for a while. Ruprecht, turning his attention to Decus, the person in line before him, said "Is Nicolus STILL in there?"

"Yeah," Decus said. "I don't know if he's washing or just too embarrassed to come out."

"Well, you know, it is kinda embarrassing what happened to him..." Just then, the door to the bathroom opened, and out walked Nicolus, wearing a paper bag over his head. A burst of laughter resounded through the halls of the Wise Men's house, directed at Nicolus.

"Leave me alone..." Nicolus said angrily. "Just leave me the $#%* alone..."

* * *

A cry echoed through the halls, waking Indalecio up from his blissful sleep. He checked his clock, which proudly dislpayed the time "3:30 AM."

"Dammit, don't these kids ever sleep?" Indalecio said, thrusting his head back into the pillow. "I can't wait until morning comes..."

* * *

"Hey!" Claude said, opening the door to the Wise Men's house that morning. "How'd everything go?" The Ten Wise Men, sleep-deprived and worse-for-wear, stared angrily at them. Indalecio looked beside him towards Cyril, who gave a slight nod.

He then punched Claude in the face, thrust the twins unceremoniously into Rena's arms, and slammed the door so hard the foundation shook.

"What do you suppose got into them?" Claude said, rubbing his swelling eye.


	13. Unlike Architechts, I'm Not Superstitiou...

"Nice shiner

"Nice shiner..." Chisato said, as Claude and Rena walked into the bottom floor lobby of Central City's city hall. Beside her was Noel.

"Shaddup..." Claude said, fuming and holding an ice bag to his blackened eye.

"So, are we going to tell Narl about what's been happening?" Chisato asked.

"I suppose we have to," Rena said. "I don't see any other way to go..."

The four ascended to the top floor, plugged their ears when they saw the secretary, and then made their way into Narl's office.

"How can I help you?" Narl asked the four.

"Bad news, mayor," Claude said. "Someone wants to destroy the Universe..."

"Really? How?" Narl asked, intrigued.

"Using the Crest of Annihilation, of course!" Rena exclaimed.

"What's that?"

"Guys, you've really outdone yourselves this time..." Claude grumbled to their old friends. Then, speaking aloud, he said, "Let's see, how can I explain this? It's a crest that'll cause the universe to collapse on itself if invoked."

"That's horrible!" Narl shouted, rising from his chair. "We've got to do something about this!"

"We've already tried fighting the guy on our own," Noel said. "That's why we've come to you. We were thinking that you could get Mirage to make some new weapons for us..."

"Sounds good," Narl said. "Shall we go?"

* * *

The five entered Mirage's house, in the city of Armlock. "Mirage? You there?" Narl called out.

"I'm in the lab!" she called from the back. The group walked into the back laboratory, and found her already slaving over a project.

"Done at last!" she said, wiping the sweat from her brow. "A weapon combining the best aspects of a sword and a handgun!" she shouted, raising the weapon high above her head.

"A gunblade? It's been done before," Claude said.

"So how can I help you?" Mirage said to Narl.

"It's an emergency..." Narl said. "They'll explain it to you..."

__

Author's Note: You know the explanation. Do I really need to write the entire thing out again? And now, back to the story.

"Hmmm...so you say you need me to create weapons for you that will resist the changes that Orin can create?" Mirage said.

"Yup," Claude said. "We really need your help."

"That shouldn't be all that hard," Mirage said. "But first, I'll need..."

"Special metal that's only found within the recesses of a deep cavern?" Rena interrupted.

"No, I'll need you..."

"To go to the Heraldry Weapons Research Facility to get plans for as-of-yet unmade weapons?" Claude asked.

"No, I'll need you to..." Mirage said.

"To what? Tell us!" Noel shouted impatiently.

"I was just about to! I just need you guys to do some grocery shopping for me!" Mirage yelled, agitated.

"Grocery shopping?" Claude asked. "What's that got to do with weapons?"

"Nothing, directly. It's just that I'm so backlogged with work that I haven't had much of a chance to do anything else," Mirage said. "If you do that for me, I might be able to put your weapons at the back of 'Urgent! Must Finish Now!', just ahead of 'Sort of Urgent, But Can Be Finished At A Later Date If Need Be.' It'd still be about a month before I could get to them, though."

The four heroes conversed for a short while. "All right," Claude said at last. "We'll take you up on your offer."

"Great!" Mirage said. "The shopping list is on the table in the kitchen, and I'll repay you when you get back."


	14. Shopping for Weapons

The group walked into the grocery store in Armlock

The group walked into the grocery store in Armlock. "Let's split the list, should we?" Claude said. "It'll go faster that way." They did so, and soon the list was in four relatively equal parts.

"I've got the meat and dairy products," Claude said.

"I have fruits, vegetables, and breads," Rena said.

"Non-perishables here," Chisato said.

"I have toiletries and..." Noel gulped, "feminine products..." Laughter echoed throughout the store.

* * *

Claude walked down the store aisles, his basket about half full of meats and dairy products. "Hmm...cottage cheese..." he said to himself, looking at the list. "Excuse me," he asked a passing worker. "Do you know where the cottage cheese is?"

"Aisle 7," he said, and went back to work. Claude walked through the store until he came to aisle seven, above which hung a sign listing the products in that aisle.

"That's odd..." Claude thought before heading into the aisle. "All it says is 'Cottage Cheese'..." When he entered, his curiosity found an answer. Cottage cheese of all sizes, flavors, and fat contents lined the refrigerated shelves of the aisle.

"Crap..."

* * *

Rena waited patiently in the fresh produce section of the store, standing behind an elderly woman who was carefully inspecting each piece of fruit she saw. Picking them up, squeezing them, smelling them, and occasionally looking at them into the lights. She sighed impatiently as the woman scrutinized the fifteenth apple in as many minutes.

"Dammit, will you just grab an apple and move?" Rena yelled impatiently.

"Now now now..." the lady said in a calm, orderly fashion that, considering the situation, would make most people want to rip her throat out. "You have to be very careful when selecting your fruit, if you want to get the best you can. They have to be ripe, you know..."

"I'm sure several of these pieces of fruit have ripened sufficiently..." Rena said. "Besides, it'll all be the same in a few hours."

"That's the exact same attitude that nearly lost us the war, you know..."

"What war?"

"You know, the war."

"I highly doubt an entire war hinged on fruit selection."

"That's exactly what's wrong with today's youth! They have no clue about how history really happened!"

"Listen, just continue looking for an apple, and save me the preaching..." Rena said, exasperated.

* * *

Chisato walked down the canned food aisle of the store, happily munching on an opened bag of chocolate cookies.

"Excuse me, miss," a worker said. "Please refrain from eating the merchandise until you've paid for it."

"I already have," Chisato said.

"Ah. Sorry to bother you, then."

Chisato giggled to herself. "He believed me," she said in a voice so quiet only she could hear it.

* * *

Noel walked down the women's hygiene product aisle, his face as red as a beet. "Listen," he said. "I'm embarrassed enough as is. You don't need to go flaunting my discomfort to everyone..."

__

Author's note: Oh. Sorry about that.

"No problem," Noel said.

* * *

Chisato wandered into aisle seven, her list almost entirely finished. "Hey Claude," she said. "What're you looking for?"

"Cottage cheese," Claude replied.

"And why don't you grab some?" Chisato asked. "There's an entire shelf of it right there."

"That's the problem!" Claude shouted. "There's an entire shelf of it!"

"Huh?"

"Look," Claude started to explain. "There are different consistencies, different curd sizes, different tub sizes, flavored cottage cheese, cottage cheese with pieces of fruit in it, and to add insult to injury..." Claude sighed heavily, "Low-Fat versions of _every kind_! The list just says 'Cottage Cheese!'"

"Well," Chisato said, grabbing a random tub of cottage cheese, "Mirage will just have to settle for Creamy, Small-Curd, Plain, Low-Fat Cottage Cheese with Peaches, in a large tub."

"That won't do," Claude said.

"Why not?"

"It's past the expiration date..."

* * *

Noel walked out of the women's hygiene aisle, with two paper bags on his person. One was holding the items he selected, the other covering his head out of embarrassment. He made his way to the produce aisle, where he found Rena carefully examining pieces of fruit.

"Why so choosy?" Noel said, taking off the brown paper mask. "Just grab some fruit and let's go."

"Listen," Rena growled. "I've just spent an entire *#$^ing hour just waiting to select. You damn well better be sure I'm going to get the best fruit I can lay my hands on!"

"Okay..." Noel said, backing off. "Just...don't hurt me..."

* * *

Once all four lists had been checked off, the group went to the front of the store to check out. Claude eyed the Express Lane for a moment, but quickly shrugged it off. "We've done the fruit selection joke, the man in the women's aisle joke, the 'I've already paid for it' joke, and the way-too-many-choices-for-a-simple-item joke. We are not doing the too many items in the express lane joke," he said.

"Who are you talking to?" Rena asked.

"Umm...no one..."

"Well, let's just pay for this stuff and go," Chisato said. "I'm almost out of cookies." They entered the shortest line they could find, and soon were at the checkout stand. The cashier checked all the items, then turned to face Claude.

"Your total comes to 3109.62 Fol, sir," she said in a pleasant tone.

"Right," Claude said, reaching for his wallet. "Umm..." he said, as he realized that it wasn't in his pocket. "You guys have any money on you?" The other three shook their heads in unison. "Well...uh...Chisato, you want to run to Mirage's house and get some money from her? I...kinda...lost my wallet..."


	15. The Battle of the Bands

The weeks after the shopping trip were at the same time hectic, yet not really

The weeks after the shopping trip were at the same time hectic, yet not really. Both Cyril and Indalecio practiced extremely hard with their respective bands for the upcoming battle of the bands. Claude and Company, meanwhile, spent their time searching for possible hideouts of Orin, and also waited for their weapons to be completed. Time passed, and eventually the highly publicized battle of the bands drew near. Both groups felt that they were at their best (which, admittedly, wasn't all that terribly good, but what do you expect from amateurs).

The Wise Men traveled to Central City to get ready for the concert and make any last adjustments. Before long, the big event began: The 4th Annual Energy Nede Battle of the Bands, sponsored by various radio stations and musical equipment outfitters around the planet.

"All right," Indalecio said, backstage, to the other members of the group, who called themselves Clingshrimp. "We're fifth on the list. First, it's Guttersnipe, then Ketta, then Cyril's group, then Sledgehammer Conspiracy, then us, and finally The Co-Egg."

"I think that's The C.O.E.G," Berle commented.

"Yes, whatever," Indalecio said. Suddenly, there was a commotion on the main stage. The emcee for the event, a greasy-haired, middle aged man obviously living vicariously through the youths in the crowd, walked up to the microphone, signaling the start of the event.

"How're you all doing?" he shouted into the microphone. The crowd roared at this statement. "This's Tank Sherman from KROX 93.3 FM, and I welcome you to this year's Battle of the Bands!" The crowd only got louder.

"We've got a bunch of acts this year," Tank shouted. "So let's get right into it with our first band, Guttersnipe!" Onstage walked four longhaired young men, instruments and/or drumsticks in hand. 

"Are you ready to rock?" the lead singer/guitarist shouted into the microphone. The crowd roared in approval. "I can't hear you!" he shouted, inciting an even louder cheer from the crowd. "All right! Let's go..." he said. "One, two, three, four!"

Somehow along the way, however, there had been a bit of a miscommunication, as the two guitarists and the bassist appeared to be playing three different songs, all at different tempos. The drummer failed to play completely. The crowd quickly reacted with a multitude of boos and some thrown debris. Guttersnipe immediately left the stage out of embarrassment.

"Well, that was quick!" Tank said, stepping up to the microphone. "Now, for our next act, the all-girl group, Ketta!"

The four young women of Ketta quickly scrambled onstage, still not completely ready for their sudden appearance. After a short introduction from the lead singer, they started into their first song. The crowd burst into cheer because, apparently, all the members of this band were operating on the same wavelength. Midway through the second song, however, the group met with disaster. While playing a guitar solo and walking around onstage, the lead guitarist tripped over the cord connecting her guitar to the amplifier. She almost knocked into the lead singer, who stepped back just in time to miss the falling girl. In doing so, though, she accidentally ran into the bassist, who was busy concentrating on the notes she had to play. Both of them went sprawling to the ground in a daze. The drummer, completely oblivious to what was happening around her, continued playing.

"Cleanup on main stage," Tank said into the microphone, as Ketta scrambled offstage even more quickly than they scrambled onstage. "Next, we have a hot new up-and-coming band. You might have heard of them before. I know I have. Let's give it up for Lantis!"

The four Wise Men that formed the group walked onstage and set their instruments up. "Why bother with introductions?" Cyril said into the microphone, seemingly a clue for the band to start up their first song. Their three-song set went off without a hitch, much to the dismay of Clingshrimp, especially Indalecio.

"Wow," Tank said as the band walked offstage, to a crowd rowdy with cheer. "Nothing went wrong, can you believe it? Now, for the musical styling of Sledgehammer Conspiracy!" The three young men of the band got onstage and played three songs that were full of angst. What they were angry about, exactly, was lost, as the lyrics were rather fast and somewhat slurred. But the songs were definitely full of angst.

"Now, for a short intermission," Tank said into the microphone, after Sledgehammer Conspiracy ended their set. "Afterwards, we'll have our remaining two bands and the final results!"

Down in the crowd, there was a bit of a commotion.

"Can you see him?" Claude said, hoisting Rena onto his shoulders.

"Mmmm...nope, I can't..." Rena said. "The crowd's too thick..."

"I wonder if Noel and Chisato are having any better luck," Claude said, as he lowered Rena to ground level.

"Where are they?" Rena asked.

"No clue," Claude said. Before Rena could reply, Tank walked onstage again.

"Hey!" he shouted into the microphone. "We're back with more music for you! And now, please give it up for Clingshrimp!"

The other six Wise Men gathered onstage and set up their respective instruments. Nicolus and Jibril both plugged in their guitars, Marsilio plugged his bass guitar to the amp, Berle took a seat behind the drum set, and Shigeo took his place behind a rather expensive-looking keyboard system. With a slight nod from Indalecio, the started the first song of their three song set, playing as well as their few scant weeks of practice allowed them to. A burst of applause erupted from the crowd, about the same level as the applause as they gave Lantis. The six removed themselves from the stage as Tank began the introduction for the final band.

"Looks like we're about even," Cyril said, meeting Indalecio backstage.

"We'll see," Indalecio said. "Should we see how the last band performs?"

"Sounds good..." Cyril said.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, and all the rest of you out there," Tank said. "Our final act. Straight from a place nobody is quite sure of...give it up for The Co-Egg!"

The lead singer, a spectacled boy with frizzy brownish-blonde hair who bore more than a passing resemblance to Rowan Atkinson, whispered something in Tank's ear. "Oops," Tank said. "The C.O.E.G!"

"Thank you," the boy (whom the rest of the band called "T") said with a slightly nasal tone in his voice. The other three members of the band, three young men and one young woman, quickly set up their instruments, as T prepared his bass guitar. "One, two, three, four!" he shouted as the band started into a driving song so loud, fast, and bass-heavy it was almost absurd. After a short intro, the lead singer half-sung, half-growled lyrics that made little to no sense. The crowd, almost hypnotized by the music coming from the stage, began to jump up and down, inciting mosh pits in some areas of the stadium.

"We're..." Cyril said, amazedly.

"Screwed..." Indalecio finished.

The C.O.E.G. finished their first song and immediately began another song that was just as fast, twice as loud, and five times as crazy. During the bridge for the song, T leapt into the crowd and began crowd surfing. The crowd continued in their frenzy. After the second song finished, they started their third, which was a lot like the previous two. As a final note to that song, the female guitarist (A.K.A. "Sixy") snuck up behind T, and cold-cocked him with her guitar. The drummer ("Tigger") then threw the hi-hat cymbal at the male guitarist ("Pchan"). The keyboard player ("Iggy") simply threw random punches, which connected a surprising amount of times. These acts basically incited a riot onstage, which was best described as a fist-fight with instruments. By the time the onstage fight died down, it resulted in a total of seven lost teeth, two black eyes, a broken nose, some bruised ribs, and a mess of broken instruments.

"Don't worry," Pchan said into the microphone. "It was all a part of the act."

"No it wasn't," Sixy said into a second microphone.

"Whatever it was," T said, "It was fun. Can we do it again?"

"My pleasure," Tigger said, shortly before slamming a snare drum down over T's head, which burst through the membranes of the drum. Iggy then hit Tigger over the head with a synthesizer keyboard.

"Ummm..." Tank said, rushing to the stage to prevent another set of musi-cuffs. "And now, the judging," he said. "Can I get all the bands onstage for the final results?" All six bands walked onstage and grouped up. "We'll go to the judging panel...you, the crowd! The final winner will be determined by your applause!"

"First, let's hear it for Guttersnipe!" Tank said, walking to the first group. One lone person clapped, from the very back of the room.

"And now, Ketta!" Tank shouted. A mild applause came from the crowd.

"Lantis!" A rather hearty applause came, nothing earth-shattering, but still rather enthusiastic.

"Sledgehammer Conspiracy!" Another healthy applause, slightly less than that received by Lantis.

"Clingshrimp!" An applause about at the same level as the previous two.

"Finally, The Co...I mean The C.O.E.G!" A thunderous applause rocked the arena, threatening to bring the weakest of the rafters down. Several pieces of women's clothing (a fair portion of it unmentionable) flew onto the stage.

"I think we have a winner!" Tank shouted. "Let's give it up for The C.O.E.G!" Another ear-splitting round of applause. The five members hoisted the gigantic novelty check, which signified their victory and cash earnings, high above their heads.

"What's the exchange rate from Fol to dollars?" T asked, still wearing the snare drum "necklace."

"Didn't that lead singer kinda look familiar?" Cyril said, as the non-victorious bands filed off the stage.

"Not really...wait, yeah he did!" Indalecio said, as a shock of realization went through him. "Rig!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "This whole thing was rigged!"

"So...I guess this is the end of our band..." Cyril said.

"Why?" Indalecio asked him.

"Well...my band lost, right?" Cyril said.

"My band didn't win, though," Indalecio said.

"Wait...you sound like you actually enjoyed this..."

"Well...uh...kinda..."

"See? It's kinda infectious. Hell of a lot of fun too."

"I'm just kinda sad that it's over now...quite the experience..."

Cyril thought for a moment. "You guys could...well..."

"Yeah?" Indalecio said.

"Our bands could always merge..." Cyril said.

"Huh? A ten member band?" Indalecio asked in disbelief. "How would that work?"

"It might take some instrument relocation," Cyril said. "But I'm sure we could make it work. Besides, Slipknot was a pretty popular band, and they had nine members..."

"And that," a voice over said, "Was the beginning of the Ten Wise Men, one of the most influential bands to ever grace the galaxy. In an interesting note, The C.O.E.G, the winners of that contest, had a mildly successful debut album. They broke up shortly before the follow-up album was to be released, however, after T nearly drowned while thinking he was a fish, Iggy shot a man for making fun of his fiancee, and Sixy gave Pchan a minor concussion for, as she said, 'no real reason at all.' Tigger just plain disappeared for a long stretch of time, and eventually came back and wondered where his bandmates were.

"Next time on VH1's _Behind the Music_, we take a look at the life (and, for a short bit, death) of musical legend Hotblack Desatio. Until then..."


	16. Flashbacks

Claude, Chisato, Rena, and Noel relaxed in their hotel room after the concert

Claude, Chisato, Rena, and Noel relaxed in their hotel room after the concert. Why Noel and Chisato stayed in the hotel, nobody was sure, as they had homes that were within easy access of Central City, with the help of teleporters. They just felt it was the right thing to do at this point in time. Suddenly, Mirage burst into the room.

"Good news!" she shouted. "Your weapons are done!"

"Great!" Claude said. "Let's see them!" Mirage then procured four weapons: a plastic toy rapier, a children's joy buzzer, and two pairs of toy boxing gloves.

"Right..." Rena said, not completely sure what to say.

Noel was a bit more cynical. "Great. Let's make it so that he can't turn our weapons into children's toys by making them toys in the first place! Brilliant!"

"You haven't seen anything yet..." Mirage said. "Claude, take the sword." He did so. It felt incredibly light in his hands. Mirage then took out a piece of steel two feet thick.

"Slice through it," she commanded.

"What? It'll shatter in no time!" Claude shouted.

"_Slice through it._"

Claude, seeing that he might as well humor her, swung the sword in a wide arc towards the metal block. Much to his surprise, the sword passed right through it, cleaving the steel with a hairline cut. The top piece fell off and hit the floor with a convincing thud.

"The hell..." Claude wondered aloud.

"The actual weapon part of it wasn't so hard," Mirage said. "The tricky part was disguising them as toys. Trust me, the other three are just as deadly." She put on one of the boxing gloves. "Titanium plates in the fists of the gloves to give them that extra 'umph'. And, in case you need even more 'umph'," she clenched her fist, causing multiple blades to shoot through the glove. "I'd show you the joy buzzer, but that thing fried the strongest potentiometers I had." The four looked upon their new weapons in awe.

"It was a blast making these, guys," Mirage said, walking out of the room. "Call me up if you ever need a nuclear warhead disguised as a fluffy teddy bear or something."

* * *

Later that night, Noel sat looking through the window of the hotel room, sighing on occasion. Claude, who had woken up to use the restroom, heard one of these sighs while returning to bed.

"What's the matter?" Claude said, walking up to him. "Can't sleep?"

"Kind of..." Noel said. "I'm just thinking..."

"Kind of convenient how there's always some reflection just before we face off against the villain for the final time," Claude said.

"Huh?"

"Umm...nothing..." Claude quickly backpedaled. "So what're you thinking about?"

"You know, things, stuff..." Noel said. "Kind of about everything and yet nothing, get my drift?"

"Yeah...I have one question..." Claude said. "What is it with you and Chisato?"

"Nothing! Why do you ask?" Noel said quickly.

"Don't play dumb, Noel," Claude said. "I've noticed you two lately. The situation right after the Lantis concert, the way you blush in her presence, how you mysteriously disappeared tonight during the battle of the bands..."

"Actually," Noel said in his defense. "That time we just got caught up in a mosh pit."

"Yeah, sure. What gives?"

"Well...if you need to know...it all began the night after Lantis' first concert..." Noel began.

* * *

__

Author's note: This is a flashback. This is not what is currently happening. I'm sure most of you could have figured this out without my help, but there are some people who need explanations for everything. You know who you are.

Noel and Chisato walked into Noel's house. It was already dark outside by the time they had arrived, and so there was a bit of fumbling as Noel searched for the light switch. Eventually it was found, and the room brightened immediately.

"Would you like to come in for a little bit?" Noel asked.

"Sure," Chisato said.

"Great, I'll go put on some tea..." he said, walking into the kitchen area. When he got there, he sighed heavily. _Should I, or shouldn't I?_ he thought to himself as he filled the teapot with water. _I will_ he decided as he put the pot onto the stove to heat.

"Umm...Chisato?" Noel said meekly as he walked into the main room. "I have something to tell you..."

"Listen, I already know about the pet shop incident..." Chisato said.

"No, it's not that," he said. "What I want to say is...well...I've enjoyed being with you these past couple weeks..."

"So have I," she said. "It's been a great way to catch up after all these years."

"No," he said. "I've really _enjoyed_ being with you..."

"I don't quite understand."

"I thought I might have to say this in more literal terms..." Noel said. "What I want to say is...umm...I..." He stuttered as he tried to say the words.

"I...I...I think I love you..."

Chisato looked at him with an expression that wasn't quite shock, but was damn close.

"Wait, aren't you..." she began. "You know..."

"I know, and that's what I can't figure out!" he shouted. "How can I be...you know...and still...well...you get the picture."

"Maybe you're like Ashton," she said. "Or maybe you're not really that way at all..."

"That could very well be..." he said. "But how can I be sure?"

"I think I know a way..." she said, leaning towards him. And then...

They kissed.

Mind you, it wasn't a particularly passionate one. It was rather sudden and awkward, and when viewed from certain angles, almost looked like it hurt. But it was a kiss nonetheless.

"Wow..." Noel said as they separated. "That was an interesting experience."

"You mean you've never kissed before?" Chisato said. "What about you and Ashton?"

"Actually," he said, blushing, "We never really got past the hand-holding stage..."

"So, perhaps you really aren't...you know..." she said.

"Well, it seems I've passed the first test..."

"There are others..." Chisato said, as she started to undo the buttons on her jacket.

"Wait," Noel said. "Let's not rush things. I mean, we're friends and all. I don't mean to really be a bother in all this..." A light blue jacket flew past his ear. Noel began to sweat.

"After all, we did just have our first kiss not too long ago. And it's not like we're technically dating in the first place. True, we did spend quite a bit of time together, but we also spent plenty of time around others of the opposite sex, and that didn't cause any quickened relations..."

A turtleneck sweater flew above the other shoulder. Noel started sweating even more, and began fumbling his words.

"I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. You don't really have to do this if you don't want to. You could go home any time, if you really wanted..." A pair of red shorts hit him in the face. He quickly brushed them aside.

"Oh, what the hey," he said, giving up as an arm reached up and pulled him to the floor.

__

Author's note: This ends the flashback. This has been a special message for those same people that couldn't figure out things unless they were told exactly what was happening. Thank you.

* * *

"I'm sure you have a pretty vivid imagination," Noel said. "You can figure out what happened next..."

Claude stared at him dumbfounded for a second, then snapped back into reality. "You lucky dog..." he said, nudging Noel gently in the arm.

"Yeah, I suppose," Noel said sheepishly.

"There's still one thing I don't quite understand," Claude said. "It's pretty clear that Chisato spent the night, if you know what I mean. But when we came to your house the morning after 'the morning after,' to tell you about the threat, Chisato was still there. Why?"

Noel grinned. "What made you think she went home?" He yawned, and looked at his watch. "It's late, I'd better get some sleep..." he said, as he crawled into his bed.

Claude thought for a moment, then decided a late-night shower was in order.


	17. Infiltration

The four, armed with their new weapons, made their way to the top floor of City Hall, in order to discuss matters with Mayor Narl

The four, armed with their new weapons, made their way to the top floor of City Hall, in order to discuss matters with Mayor Narl. When they reached the secretary's office, Claude stopped.

"You go on. I'll just wait here..." he said, staying still. The barrages of "Please stay on the other side of the desk" continued, like they always had, but Claude kept his ground. The other three, not completely sure of what he was thinking, entered Mayor Narl's office.

"Welcome!" Narl said. "I trust that Mirage gave you your weapons?"

"Uh huh," Noel said. "Rather unconventional, too..."

"Good, good..." Narl said. "We've determined the location of Orin's hideaway."

"Great!" Rena shouted. "Where is it?"

"An island just west of Fun City," Narl said. "We've already set up a ship ready for your departure. We can leave whenever you're ready."

"Excellent," Rena said. "I have just one more question for you... could you possibly watch the twins while we go and fight?"

"Ummm...I guess so..." Narl said. Suddenly, an explosion rocked the building, sounding like it came from the next room over. Claude, blackened from the blast, ran into the room happily.

"I knew it!" he shouted. "Everyone ready?"

As the five walked into the secretary's office, she was no where to be found. In one piece, that is. Numerous robotic pieces that looked remarkably like her were strewn violently about the room. Where she once was, laid her head, quietly repeating the words she repeated so often.

"I knew she was a robot. She had a one-track mind even simpler than even the simplest townsperson..." Claude said, proud of his accomplishments.

"That's funny," Narl said. "She didn't mention she was a robot on her job application..."

* * *

Approaching an island just west of Fun City, a lone ship cruised the seas.

"The island should be within view soon," Narl said, standing at the bow of the ship. "So should his hideout..."

Almost immediately after he said this, the island and fortress appeared through the sea's mist. It was--

--a house. It wasn't even a rather large house. It looked like it had been hastily put together.

"You're kidding..." Rena said.

"Nope," Narl said. "This is the place..."

"You're telling us," Claude said, "that a psychotic villain who's threatening the entire universe is holed up in a little shanty?"

"Maybe he's crazier than we thought," Noel said.

"Whatever," Chisato said. "What's important is that we get in there and fight!"

* * *

The ship landed on the island, and the four quickly departed the ship and entered the house. There, waiting for them, was Orin. Behind him was a Quadratic Sphere and the Crest of Annihilation, a pair that proved to be extremely dangerous in the past.

"You're late..." Orin said, looking at his watch.

"You don't mean you've already invoked the crest, do you?" Claude shouted.

"Of course not," Orin said. "If I had, we probably wouldn't be standing here right now..."

"Then why are we late?" Rena asked.

"The heroes always turn up just as the villain is about to begin the final phase of his plans," he said. "It was just a matter of waiting in the case of you guys."

Chisato walked up to him calmly. "Well, wait no more..." She raised the electric joy buzzer.

"What, now you're fighting me with toys?" Orin said. "I should say you're the crazy ones..."

"Not really," Chisato said, pressing the joy buzzer against his neck.

The smell of burning flesh filled the room, as Orin went wild with convulsions. Chisato let go, and Orin fell to the floor, thrashing violently.

"What the hell...?" he gasped, as he struggled to regain composure. Waiting for him was Noel, who belted him solidly across the face, sending him flying. Waiting on the other side of the room was Rena, who gave him another solid punch, right in the small of the back. He staggered around the room for a bit, finally collapsing straight on Claude's sword.

"Give it up," Claude said, pulling the sword out of Orin's chest. "You've lost..."

Orin clutched the hole in his chest and grinned. Blood poured from the wound like water from a garden hose. "I'll never lose..." he said, leaning against the wall. "I can't be killed...I'm immortal!"

"Oh, you're a demon," Claude said condescendingly. "How original..."

"Not a demon..." Orin said, grinning.

"A God of Destruction," Claude mocked. "That's so much better!"

"Closer, but not quite..." Orin said. He then folded, and fell to the ground. From his lifeless body came a twitch.

"The hell?" Noel said, as Orin's body continued twitching. Soon, it lifted from the ground and hovered in midair. A bright flash came from Orin's body. When the light subsided, an entirely new figure stood before them.

"Oh crap..." Claude said, staring at the new opponent.

__

Author's note: This chapter break has been brought to you by the Department for Suspenseful Chapter Breaks, a subdivision of Cliffhanger Enterprises, Inc. These same fine people are responsible for two-part television programs, books that don't quite make complete sense unless you've read previous entries in the series, and minor plot discrepancies in movies that can only be resolved in the sequel. Blame them, please.


	18. The Trouble with Gods

The figure that stood before them was like none they had ever seen

The figure that stood before them was like none they had ever seen. He was gigantic, seven feet tall if he was an inch. Muscles possible only through constant strength training and a few illegal substances bulged over his entire body. His long, golden hair fell in curls across his broad, muscular shoulders. A crest which looked like three overlapping triangles set in a row was tattooed on the back of his hand, and again on his forehead. But possibly his most distinguishing feature was the golden glow that emanated from him.

"Dear Tria..." Rena said to herself.

"You called?" the man said, with a voice like a thunderbolt.

"Tria? The God of Creation, Tria?" Noel shouted. "Right here?"

"Yes," Tria said. "What's so hard to believe?"

"Nothing..." Claude said, "Yet everything. I mean, Orin's body disappears and then suddenly You're here!"

Tria smiled. "I'm surprised you didn't figure this out earlier. Even the name was a bit of a giveaway. Orin Good Facet. Come on..."

The four looked at the God with blank faces.

"It's an anagram. For 'God of Creation'," Tria said.

"Oh..." the others said in unison. Then Chisato spoke up. "Why are You doing this? You know, trying to destroy the universe?"

"I'm not destroying the universe," Tria said. "The last phase of My plan was to put the Crest of Enchantment on the Crest of Annihilation, and _then_ invoke them combined."

"You want to destroy Nede? Why?" Noel shouted.

"Because it's not natural," Tria said. "Nede was destroyed for a reason, and it was meant to stay destroyed. You humans..."

Claude coughed politely.

"Nedians," the God corrected Himself, "Think you can play God and do whatever you want. It's not right, and I decided to stop it."

"Oh," he added as an aside to Claude. "Don't be so smug. You humans aren't much better when it comes to these matters."

"But why go to all this trouble?" Claude said. "Couldn't You, You know, wave Your hand and zap Nede out of existence?"

"Actually," Tria said, looking as embarrassed as a God could, "I couldn't. Three reasons mainly. One, I'd also be getting rid of you guys, who are innocent pawns in this entire ordeal. That'd be bad for my image. Second, as far as Godly powers go it's not a part of My contract."

"I thought you were a God," Rena said.

"A God of Creation. Meaning I create things. Not destroy them. Third, I had a bit of an argument with Conam last week and We're not speaking right now."

"Conam?" Chisato asked. "Who's He?"

"She, actually," Tria said. "The Goddess of Destruction. Didn't you pay attention in theology class?"

"Still, You can't do this!" Rena shouted. "It's not right!"

Tria chuckled. "I'm a God. Who are you to tell Me what I'm doing is right or wrong?"

"He does have a point," Claude said.

"He's right," a voice behind him said.

"Mayor Narl?" Claude shouted in disbelief.

"Upon hearing the full story," Narl said, "I realize that this is unnatural. Please let Him continue with His plans..."

"But..." Rena said.

"Don't worry," Narl said. "By the way, you might want to have these little guys back," he said, handing the twins over.

"I'll make sure that you get returned safely to Expel," Tria said, hoping to improve the situation.

"One more thing," Rena said. "About the Wise Men..."

"Yeah?" Tria asked.

"I know that You know they're violent, reckless, unfeeling, and more than a little stupid..." Rena said. "But they're our friends...could You possibly spare them?"

"I think so," Tria said. "They have a punishment far worse than death coming to them soon anyways..."

Tria turned to the Crest, and took a second Crest out of His robes. The two merged, creating an entirely new Crest. He then said something unintelligible, invoking the Crest. The ground began to shake violently.

"There..." Tria said. He turned to the four, and said, "You'll be back on Expel before you know it." They nodded in thanks, and soon a flash of light engulfed them. When it subsided, they were nowhere to be found.

"Mayor," Tria said, turning to Narl. "I have just one question. Why are you always so damn calm during these situations?" The ground rumbled even more intensely.

"I guess one has to be when one's a semi-omniscient ruler of an entire planet," Narl said. "That, and a lot of downers help..."

* * *

Indalecio sat in his chair, reading a book entitled "A History of Rock on Nede," the consolation prize given to the losers of the contest. Very soon, he found himself reading at a very high altitude, accelerating downward at about ten meters per second, every second. The other Wise Men found themselves doing much the same.

"Great, not again..."

* * *

Claude, Rena, Chisato, and Noel appeared on Expel's surface, just outside of Linga. Claude and Rena's ship also appeared a short distance from them. "I guess everything's about resolved, then," Claude said, with a tone of satisfaction in his voice.

"Wait," Rena said. "Do you hear something?"

"Like what?" Claude asked.

"Kind of like a screaming noise, from way up above..."

The four strained their ears, and did manage to hear a faint screamin. It increased in loudness almost constantly. Eventually, a figure dropped out of the sky and landed before them with a very loud and convincing thud. Ten more instances, happening in much the same way, followed.

"I see you're okay," Claude said. "Sort of..."

"Ugh..." Indalecio moaned from the ground. "Get me some aspirin or something..."


	19. Finally, the End (and Credits)

Indalecio looked out the window towards the night sky sadly

Indalecio looked out the window towards the night sky sadly. Thoughts raced through his head as quickly as you could blink.

"Hey," Cyril said, walking into the room. "What're you doing?"

"Just...thinking..." Indalecio said.

"Didn't we already have a reflection scene?"

"Oh hush..."

"Well...what're you thinking about?"

"Nothing..." Indalecio said.

"You're sure you don't need anything?"

"Nah, I'm alright..."

Cyril turned towards the door. "Alright," he said, opening it.

"Wait..." Indalecio said, opening a nearby desk drawer and taking out a small, silver object. "There is something you can do..."

"What?"

"_You can burn in Hell!_" Indalecio shouted, aiming the pistol at Cyril.

"Wait wait wait wait wait..." Cyril said nervously. "Just...put the gun down..."

"No!" Indalecio screamed. "I've had it up to _here_ with you! Constantly annoying me and ruining our plans!"

"W-w-w-what about our truce?"

"#*@$ the truce!" he screamed, holding the gun as steady as a rock. "I'm going to deal with you once and for all!" He fired multiple shots, which ripped through Cyril's body like it was made out of paper.

"You...bastard..." Cyril said, as he hit the far wall of the room. A bloody smear was left where he slid down. Indalecio laughed the laugh of a madman, drunken with rage and insanity.

"What the..." Filia said, bursting into the room. She saw the pistol in Indalecio's hand, and the corpse of Cyril, which was sitting against the wall. "Daddy! How could you?" she shouted.

Indalecio then turned the gun on her. "Don't tempt me..." he said coldly.

"Daddy, please, snap out of it!" Filia pleaded. "Daddy!"

Indalecio fired. "_Daddy!_" Filia screamed, just before the bullet hit her.

* * *

"Daddy," Filia said gently to Indalecio. "Get up, you were sleeping."

Indalecio opened his eyes slowly. He was lying face down on the desk in front of the window, where he was sitting. A bright ray of sunshine went through the window and illuminated the desk. A small puddle of drool sparkled in the light.

"That was one odd dream..." Indalecio said.

"A nightmare?" Filia asked.

"No..." Indalecio said. "In fact, it was strangely liberating..."

An ominous chord echoed through the halls. "The hell?" Indalecio thought aloud.

"Oh, that's just the band," Filia said. "They were up all night working on a cover of that one song of Uncle Cyril's."

"Ah," Indalecio said. "That's good...maybe I should join them?"

* End of Chapter 19 *

* Credits and Disclaimers *

Written by Paul Beaudoin

Based (loosely) on characters from _Star Ocean: The Second Story_, © 1999 SCEA/Enix/tri-Ace or whatever

This story is a work of parody. In no way is it meant to steal the intellectual property of the makers of the game, or any other related licenses. Copyrighted material is intended for the use of humor, and nothing more. All characters and places not of the author's devising are copyrighted to their original creators. All characters, places, events, and situations are used as fiction. Any resemblances to real people, places, or events are purely coincidental (except, of course, for my buddies at the C.O.E.G, you guys rock)

Song lyrics taken from Slayer's _I Hate You._

Cast

Claude C. Kenni

Himself

Rena Lanford-Kenni

Herself

Chisato Madison

Herself

Noel Chandler

Himself

Indalecio

Himself

Cyril

Himself

Vesper

Himself

Decus

Himself

Ruprecht

Himself

Nicolus

Himself

Jibril

Himself

Marsilio

Himself

Berle

Himself

Shigeo

HIMSELF

Filia

Herself

Mayor Narl

Himself

The Secretary

Mrs. Roboto

The Twins

Themselves

Orin Facet/Tria, God of Creation

Himself

Tank Sherman

Joe Mantegna

Mirage

Herself

Guttersnipe

Lead Singer/Guitar - Gary Puchini

Guitar - Clifford Williams

Bass - Brendan Yost

Drums - Marcus Ashling

Ketta

Lead Singer - Susan Haspels

Guitar - Ashley Teigen

Bass - Sally Zehnderson

Drums - Rachel Reed

Sledgehammer Conspiracy

Lead Singer/Bass - Cole Ellick

Guitar - Seth Ronaldson

Drums - Mitchell Stad

T

Himself

Sixy

Herself

Pchan

Himself

Tigger

Himself

Iggy

Himself

The various crowds throughout the story

A bunch of extras who appeared for a brief moment in hopes of fame, recognition, and a free lunch.

Soundtrack (other than properly credited within the story)

_Lollipop Suicide_

Performed by Ketta

_Schoolgirls from Hell_

Performed by Ketta

_Buying a One-Way Ticket to Hell With Your Lives_

Performed by Lantis

_Bug-Filled Defective Fool_

Performed by Lantis

_Wind of Hatred_

Performed by Lantis

_Thumb in Your Windpipe_

Peformed by Sledgehammer Conspiracy

_Hammer and Scythe_

Performed by Sledgehammer Conspiracy

_The Apocalypse Already Happened_

Performed by Sledgehammer Conspiracy

_DOES NOT COMPUTE_

Performed by Clingshrimp

_Time of Truth_

Performed by Clingshrimp

_Genetics_

Performed by Clingshrimp

_MELON MELON MELON_

Performed by The C.O.E.G.

_This Song Is Gae (With LAAAAAAME Overtones)_

Performed by The C.O.E.G.

_The Injuries Song_

Performed by The C.O.E.G.

Soundtrack not available from any major label

Special thanks to:

Pchan, cybersix, and all the rest of the gang at [][1]http://coeg.koingosw.com/, for their constant support and enthusiasm for my writing. Except for NZ, that is.

All my fans at [][2]www.fanfiction.net, who've showed the same kind of enthusiasm.

No animals were harmed as a direct result of the writing of this fanfic. I did run a cat over with my car, and my neighbor's dog got sick, but they were entirely coincidental circumstances.

This has been a production from Paul Beaudoin fanfiction. Thank you, and good night.

   [1]: http://coeg.koingosw.com/
   [2]: http://www.fanfiction.net/



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